Reminiscing

I am prepping spiritually for Urbana 2012 and Passion 2013, so I was flipping through my prayer journal I take places like that.  I found this which I wrote when I went on a mission trip to the Ooglala Native American Reservation in South Dakota....
[This was my reaction of my first sighting of the Badlands...]

Each time I blinked and my eyes opened yet again, I never ceased my amazement.  Like the psalmist, my heart sang at the work of my Lord's hands.  The light touched parts of the undulating sand mounds casting shadows.  The vastness of this seemingly separate world spread further than the horizon.  God truly does make beautiful things out of the dust.



P.S. These pictures don't do it justice.

The Badlands are named for their desolation.  These lands gave me a physical affirmation that God can and will and does create beauty out of desolation.  The hues of red riveted about the sand statues, and as the sun set, the red hues intensified turning later to blue and purple.  Although we listened to a devotional, my eyes were locked on that piece, on that glimpse, of heavenly and majestic beauty.

When the Night was Animate

The radio guzzled drunkenly, white noise in the presence of my louder thoughts.
Clouds, fallen, hovered visible only at an angle in the yellow street-lamp light;
ethereal spirits dancing to that white noise.
The grass groaned with the weight of that first frost;
the leaves had given up their fiery garb of the fall.
The wind cat-called through the flattened landscape, and the trees rustled back flirtatiously.
Winter stepped in, a fair gentleman, he would grow bitter with age of course, but for now he was content to simply redden my cheeks in a paradoxical blush.
I stilled my breath to observe, accompanied only by the winking stars, and we gazed together pensively watching the animate night.

Thankfulness Out the Wazoo

So, Facebook has this awesome little trend going on.  In honor of the month of November, which contains Thanksgiving, every day you're supposed to state what you are thankful for that day. I get a little descriptive with everything I want to say, so I decided to blog instead of post statuses.

I will start with the thing I am most thankful for....
I am immeasurably thankful for the salvation, joy, grace, peace, mercy, and infinite love I have in Christ. I am just so overwhelmed at his love for me. Every. Single. Day. I mess up. I know without a doubt that Christ still loves me. It is such an overwhelming piece of knowledge. I just pray that I can continue to grow in spirit; I have been trying to learn more about The Holy Spirit lately. I feel He is an important part of The Trinity that Baptists so often gloss over an leave out. I ask, "WHY??"(That's another blog post for another day. haha.) He is our direct spiritual connection to God, and when we do not know what to pray for He intercedes for us! How amazingly awesome is that?! I am thankful for the ability to grow and learn more about my Amazing and loving Creator/Abba/God!!

I am also so thankful for my God-given relationships.

Benjamin is my best friend; I am so thankful that our life paths have crossed and intertwined. It has been an amazing journey thus far; I look forward to the future. We are always learning and growing in love. I am so glad this is a relationship in which we try to always center on God. We are so different in some ways, but those ways make things fun; we learn from each other.  He is so thoughtful! This thoughtfulness includes doing kind things, but he also is so careful with his words which I admire.  He always means what he says. I am so glad he shares my love for the outdoors; I look forward to our hiking trips. (: He cracks me up; he is such a fun guy! I love you so much Benjamin!

My family is so unique, and I do not know what I would do without them.  We are all so busy, and so I find time with them even more precious as I have gotten older.
My mom is such a strong woman, and I admire her.  She is so hard working, open minded, creative, and fun. I love talking to her, and even on days when we do not see each other, I look forward to our phone call.  She has passed down her love of English and languages to me, and I am very thankful for that.
Nathan has grown up so much, and I am so thankful I have been able to witness this. He is a God-loving guy, and that is such an amazing trait to see in a brother. He is definitely one of the funniest people I have ever met. Kids love him, and he is great with them; they just flock to him. It's crazy! We can talk about anything serious or silly; he was my first best friend, and he will always be one of my best friends.
Evan is getting so grown up! This guy is such a blessing. He has taught me so much.  Evan is so creative and resourceful. (Example: He made a plastic bin into a battle arena for his bay-blades. He also tied a flashlight to a string so it would swing around like a strobe light!) I am so thankful that he keeps me on my toes; I never know what to expect. He always knows when I need a hug, and it is one of the rare occasions that he will give them.
Loren is an answered prayer; I did pray for a sister before she was born.  She is such a creative little girl from painting to writing! She can even sing,play sports, and she is smart! She is so inquisitive and always full of energy. Did I mention she is funny too?  Oh, And she loves The Lord! I am one blessed big sister. I am just amazed by how awesome she is. I am so thankful for the privilege to know her. (:
I am thankful for the time I got to spend with my Dad. I miss him terribly sometimes, but I am so blessed to have had such a Godly man to look up to. He was so artistic, wise, and loving. He gave the best hugs. I get my sense of humor from him, and I am so thankful for the relationship we shared.

I also have an AMAZINGLY WONDERFUL extended family! They are all a blessing and have contributed to my life in an irreplaceable way.

I Love You Familia!

I could go on and on, but until the next post...
Shalom (:

IRONY,SOBERING IRONY.

I find it ironic that we live in a world that screams for tolerance in every form, but is appalled and calls you a bigot when you exercise your beliefs.

Sometimes but Always

Sometimes I wish I could talk to you.

It doesn't have to be anything profound, but

I just want to tell you about my day.

Sometimes I wish I could hug you.

I've almost forgotten what it feels like, but

maybe I’ll watch a home-made movie with you in it and remember.

Sometimes I wish I could introduce you to the new people I've met.

I know you would like them, and

I know that they would like you too; everyone does..did.

Sometimes I wish you could answer my questions.

It would be nice if you would teach me how to paint, because

I have never met anyone as good as you were.

Sometimes I wish I could hear you laugh.

It would be refreshing joke with someone as sarcastic as me, because

I know you would understand my dumb jokes.

Sometimes I wish you could read my writing.

I hope you would like it, and

I'm sure you would be encouraging.

Sometimes I wish you could give me advice.

I don’t recall needing much as a kid, but

I’m growing up now.

Sometimes I wish I knew how our relationship would be.

Like I said, I’m older now, and

I wish I could be daddy’s little girl.

Sometimes I wish we could have a day together.

I wish you could take me fishing, and

I don’t even like fishing.

Sometimes I wish I didn't have to use past tense.

No one else notices, but

it tastes like medicine and burns like acid every time.

All the time I wish I knew why this had to happen.

I can breathe and live, very happily at that, but

often times those startling pangs of bewildering agony get the best of me.

Childhood and Waves

Every part of me is caressed by a foreign silk.

Salted water dances with my hair, wrapping it around my face as I open my eyes.

Even though my vision is twenty-twenty,

it is obscured by the refracted, twisted, and flirting light,

The waves bend the light like a contortionist.

The sounds reach my ears,

But they too are distorted.

They are nothing more than a muffled garble.

As I close my eyes once more,

choose to unheard all sound,

I reach an absolute peace.

I am in a peaceful limbo.

My body is relaxed as the substance surrounding it leaves it,

levitating.

Seconds pass,

My feeble lungs protest, begging me to unsubmerge myself.

Imagining myself as a mermaid,

I shatter

the glassy sheen above.

Road Trip

Our eyes uttered messages of sleep deprivation as they struggled to remain open.

Yours met mine.

They spoke of love to each other,

in the light of the rising sun that splashed colors of assorted hues against the ever brightening sky.

Your hands sang of love in volumes as they skipped and ran through my hair.

Our lips remained closed,

but out of the gentle stillness rang sentences of love that spoken words could not truly convey.

*

I wish I could be raw and real with people, but apparently it's socially awkward/unacceptable to drop all your skeletons on any person who knocks on the closet door.

However, it's so hard for me to get close to people anyway; I probably couldn't drop any skeletons if I tried.

It's funny that we spend so much time suffocating ourselves in our little closets with our little skeletons that we don't want anyone to know about.

We need freedom from skeletons and the idea that we are the only ones with them.