Shells

[this is one of those posts that came from me just needing to self-express.  i had no particular intent when i began writing it. i had no point, but i think i found one along the way.  or maybe i didn't, and it's all gibberish...anyway, here ya go...my thoughts from the week...]


I have this picture in my head of the "Cat in the Hat" when Cat decides he is going to balance everything on all four paws, his head, and his tail, all while standing on a ball.  That's what the end of every semester feels like to me.  This one in particular feels that way.  I feel like the cat if the cat had a huge industrial fan blowing in his face.  My semester is stacked with everything towards the end.  
The wedding is approaching, and as a non-planner, that's a huge stressor in itself.
There is a whole host of things that have decided to go topsy-turvy as well (my car and my taxes being two of those things).

On top of all that, I have had to defend my faith and my beliefs in ways I haven't had to before three times in the past week.
I used to think I was good at arguing.  Maybe I was just really arrogant, or maybe I grew out of it.  One thing I do know is that I hate arguing.  It's so much effort, and most of the time it doesn't accomplish much.  People don't usually change their minds no matter how much scripture or proof you show them.  People don't change their minds no matter how good of a point you make.  We are all too attached to our pride.  We are all too attached to our upbringing.  We are all too attached to the shell built around us that we use to identify "me" as "me."  If you take some of these beliefs we have away, you take away part of that shell.  If you take away too much of that shell, it becomes marred to the point that it is no longer recognizable.  
Do we even know who we are?  Do we know who we are under our shells?

Let me tell you, life is not gentle.  
I have always liked the metaphor of life as an ocean journey.  (This is mostly attributed to my love of the beach but anyway.....)  The thing about an ocean journey is that the ocean is volatile.  This ocean will damage your shell.  It will break off pieces; it will smooth the rough parts and erode the smooth parts.
That's why I believe it is so important to know yourself under your shell.
You have beliefs and convictions? That is so good. You should. I just think it is important to understand why you have them.
I have had to ask myself recently....
"Caitlyn, can you give an answer to people when they question you about the hope you have?"
I can, and I have.  I have, and I am thankful that Jesus continues to give me evidence and experiences each day that further that hope.

Here is some scripture that gave me hope this past week: Hebrews 12

12 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,² fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross,scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. ³ Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

⁴ In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. ⁵ And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says,

“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,
    and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
⁶ because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
    and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”^[a]

⁷ Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? ⁸ If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. ⁹ Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! ¹⁰ They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. ¹¹ No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

¹² Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. ¹³ “Make level paths for your feet,” so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.

¹⁴ Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.¹⁵ See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. ¹⁶ See that no one is sexually immoral, or is godless like Esau, who for a single meal sold his inheritance rights as the oldest son. ¹⁷ Afterward, as you know, when he wanted to inherit this blessing, he was rejected. Even though he sought the blessing with tears, he could not change what he had done.

¹⁸ You have not come to a mountain that can be touched and that is burning with fire; to darkness, gloom and storm; ¹⁹ to a trumpet blast or to such a voice speaking words that those who heard it begged that no further word be spoken to them, ²⁰ because they could not bear what was commanded: “If even an animal touches the mountain, it must be stoned to death.” ²¹ The sight was so terrifying that Moses said, “I am trembling with fear.”
²² But you have come to Mount Zion, to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem. You have come to thousands upon thousands of angels in joyful assembly, ²³ to the church of the firstborn, whose names are written in heaven. You have come to God, the Judge of all, to the spirits of the righteous made perfect, ²⁴ to Jesus the mediator of a new covenant, and to the sprinkled blood that speaks a better word than the blood of Abel.
²⁵ See to it that you do not refuse him who speaks. If they did not escape when they refused him who warnedthem on earth, how much less will we, if we turn away from him who warns us from heaven? ²⁶ At that time his voice shook the earth, but now he has promised, “Once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens.”  ²⁷ The words “once more” indicate the removing of what can be shaken—that is, created things—so that what cannot be shaken may remain.
²⁸ Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, ²⁹ for our “God is a consuming fire.”